Finding peace

I think this can mean something different to everyone of course but also something different at specific times in your life!

What does this mean to me right now????

1.  Knowing the decision I made to end my marriage is right for me.... yes.
2.  Knowing I am on track with improving my life.... yes.
3.  Being supportive of my friends and not judging them for their actions.... yes.
4.  Being open to new friends and experiences to improve my life...yes.
5.  Knowing that I will not repeat the same mistakes I have made in the past...this one is ongoing and needs to be reviewed at all times.

So on that I have been very busy....
I started a new ab workout.
I have been spending time with my friends, went to see circ de sole... think that's the right spelling...???
I have hung out with some "new" friends and will try to spend more time with them soon.

I think its sooo important to me to find peace because for so many years now I have been living in caos with all that was happening.  It seemed as if one problem would get solved and there was another one.  Yes I know that's what happens, life is not perfect or easy but the problems that had to be dealt with were brought on by someones actions so technically I should never have had to deal with them if not for you know who!
I do feel at peace these days... I am thankful for that and plan to keep it that way!

Happy new life

What a week and its not over.  Yikes!
So this week was full of ups and downs.  I am actually surprised at how peaceful today was.  This was the day I have been dreading the most.....
It is my wedding anniversary.  I was waiting for insane rude texts all day.  Surprise only a few random fake texts.  Thank god.  I am so over this process.
On another note...
I have a close friend that I talk with daily.  They are going through a lot of the same stuff I am going through but have been for much longer.  I find so much peace talking with this friend and I am grateful everyday for the chance to share my feelings.  I normally do not open up to someone so much but these days the people I think I am going to lean on are not the ones I actually do lean on. 

I am looking forward to this weekend I have big plans out with a group of friends.  I can only hope the rest of this week will go as smooth as the beginning.  So here is to a fresh start on a day I should be celebrating a a comfortable place.

All things heal

So once again I get some wisdom from a TV show.  Today's is just what I said in the title....

In time all things heal.  This is true. 
Well there are times we all feel like our hearts will never mend, they will.  We are strong we can move on. 

I once made a decision that when I think back to it, even I with all my knowledge and understanding of life and death as I deal with it daily, still have a hard time remembering that I really didn't make the decision.

I was there when a family member was dying.  I knew they did not want to be resuscitated.  When I was asked to make the call, I let them go.  I still hurt when I think about it.  I, me- made the call to let someone I loved go.  But I know it was what they wanted so I really only followed what they had said.  I really only took what I was given.... information and a situation and applied it.  At the time it was actually an easy call to make.  It is when it was over and I had time for my heart to get involved that I started to hurt.

So I guess when people say should I listen to my heart or my head?  The real answer is if you choose your head you will still one day have to listen to your heart.
I'm not sure if it works the other way as I am someone that I think listens and makes a choice with my head, I am logical.  I know sooner or later my heart will speak but, if I know I made the smart decision the one that makes sense my heart will heal.

Some may say that you need to make decisions with your heart, my feeling is my heart is not smart so if I make a decision based on emotion won't I continue to make more wrong choices?

Productive me

So this is neither insightful or meaningful but who could possibly have that much to say EVERYDAY?
Today was a me day!!!
Worked out
Productive work day
Talked to most of my close friends at some point
Got tortured, oh I mean a bikini wax by this lady that I think taught torture techniques in a Koren prison. 
    Ladies you know what I mean......
Tanned
and sorry to say but worked out again!

Yes even I made myself a little nauseous today.  Lets see how many days I can keep this up.  LOL

Heres to Change!

So I spent Superbowl night with some old friends.  I had a good time.  It was a bit uncomfortable at times at first.  Some times when you haven't seen people in years you are a little worried that you no longer have anything in common.  While that was slightly true last night, we still had catching up to do.   So here I am thinking I have such a sad story to tell... Ive never had kids, I'm getting divorced....  boy I was not alone.

The sad stories seemed to be in plenty last night.  Thus the uncomfortable times of the night.  I got this strange feeling that while everyone was out and having fun overall this group of people definately is not the group it used to be.  The group in a whole appeared somewhat sad or depressed.  Life had not been easy for most of them.   When you haven't seen people in years and they have absolutely NOTHING good to report it really makes you take a look at yourself.  I haven't had everything so easy  but I have good things to report.  Things I do that are fun and interesting.  Places I have been that stand out to me.  This makes me feel good.  I have managed to live my life meaningful over the years and I am worried that not all my old friends have been able to do this.  I have so many great memories of these people.  So many times when we just laughed for hours.  We all seemed to understand each other and easily fit together as friends.

I'm not so sure I fit anymore.  At least not with all of them.  But that's okay with me.  I will continue to stay in touch with them and maybe one day again this will be the happy group I used to know.  Maybe I will be able to help some of them live life a little more freely. 

So I guess what I am saying is again a decision I made to venturing outside of what I knew and what was comfortable has appeared to help me.  Leaving a close group of friends brought me to a new place and a new group with a completely different life, lifestyle and out look.  This gives me even more excitement that my new venture will bring about even more diversity and good time to my life. Here to change!

Im back

I'm back, I have Internet connection again.  Oh the horror.  It has been snowy and I have had time off yet I have had no access to the Internet.  Yikes I know.  So I have rigged something, still not sure what happened with my connection but at least I have a temporary connection.
Soooo much has happened.

This week has given me some ups and downs.  I had my first face to face interaction with my soon to be ex.  I was unsure how to feel.  I was not immediately sad.  I was actually confused. But that confusion soon turned into a reassuring anger when he decided his new way to get back together would be to threaten me that he was going to take 1/2 of my "assets".  Really this is how you want your relationship....
I know you don't want to be with me but as long as I can hold you hostage I'm good.  I don't think so.

Based on this behavior I had a reassuring thought.  I am getting a fresh start soon.  I have so many opportunities coming up I can't help but imagine my life will be full.   Full of fun and good things not crap and deception!

I had dinner with my friends on Friday.  FUN FUN FUN.  We went to Vincentes in Detroit.  I have been there once before and the food is good, the atmosphere is great.  They have salsa dancing on Fridays.  It looks like sooo much fun we decided we should take lessons.  I am looking for some, I can't wait!  I would love to go back to Vincentes and be able to get out on the floor and look like I know what I am doing.  You can read about dinner on adventuresindetroitdining.com

There is more to tell but unfortunately I have to get up and get to the snow.  I am really done with snow, maybe I should just research vacations instead.