present, past, now future

Everyone has a story to tell.  So do I.  I am learning now how my story is told. 
You often hear, I'm glad what I went through it made me who I am today. 
I'm sure it did but what about......  This is me so this is my story.

I mean, everyone would handle the same situation different.  So why not say I shaped it not it shaped me?

My story in the present was like so many.  I was in the middle, I did what I could.  I made decisions unsure of what would happen in the end.  When I was in my story I could not see anything else, I could not see the beginning the middle or the end.  It was like I woke up wrapped up and just had to be.

My story in the past was embarrassing.  So many people judge us for what we have been through and how we have handled it. 
You should have, I would have, I don't know how you could..... 
I knew no other way, I was being me. 
I was supporting someone that needed me.  I had pledged my love to this person and though they were not showing me ANY love in their actions I still gave them me. 
I gave me until I felt I had no more to give. 
This is my past, being embarrassed of my actions. 
WHY?  Why is it soooo bad to be supportive and giving until you have no more to give?

So now my story is my future.  I am still me.  I have given and I made it through.  We did not. 
I'm okay with that.
I am no longer embarrassed because I do realize.  I shouldn't be. 
Why should I be embarrassed to have given so much of myself to help another?  Maybe you should be embarrassed that you won't. 

My future is not what happened to me but its how I made it into this...
I will still give, I will still support, I will be there, I will not judge!
I will love!!!!   and I will love BIG!!!!