So I knew these moments would come but now that I am having one it is driving me crazy.
I feel this insanely overwhelming feeling that I am doing the wrong thing. Yes I'm talking about the divorce. I can't figure out why....
I can think it through and it all makes sense. I have given sooo much of myself to someone that is not making an effort to change the worst part of himself. He only tries to make up for himself by concentrating on the good. Now normally I would say OK, at least he is trying to make up for things. BUT his few bad things carry some serious weight.
So if leaving all makes sense then what is with this feeling?
Is it a right a passage we all go through?
Who has the answer?
How long will this last?.... I want to scream right now, I want it gone!
I have to admit this weekend is scaring the crap out of me. I think, no feel like we will have some encounter that I need to be strong for but I have virtually no plans for the weekend and this feeling.
I need one of those women's anthem's playing over and over in my head (any suggestions?). Maybe I should escape for the weekend. Not a bad idea but who would take care of my babies? (The cats)
I know I can't run. Deal with it, find some strength and face this head on. I will be better for it, blah, blah, blah.
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2 comments:
"I will survive" is the only one that comes to mind. I think it makes you human to question yourself and wonder ifyou are doing the right thing. I'd be more worried if you made one of the biggest decisions of your life and never looked back.
I agree with Lulu.
Anyway, not to be the bearer of bad news..but I feel the reality is, you may be somewhat questioning yourself for years to come. Just speaking from experience. I still to this day question myself about my divorce..and its been like 8 years. So, just take a deep breath and realize that feeling these emotions are just part of the human experience. Tell the Universe "thank you", for giving me these problems, because what if I lived in Darfur or somewhere - You have much to be grateful for...
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